We are here in Monticello Arkansas for our second week, enjoying the blazing heat and humidity that seeps into your bones and make you lazy in places you cant even imagine. Man is it hot! Even late at night. Thank heavens for central air.
We are starting to enjoy our house but Tyler is having anxiety about not sleeping in the same room as William. And we are in desperate need of some furniture.
Unfortunately I have no pictures to post of this colorful southern town because my camera broke.
However, I will share some tidbits I've learned in my schooling of southern ways.
1.) don't impersonate an accent when relaying a story of one southern to another. They dont find it amusing.
2.) Lunch isnt lunch anymore, its supper, and supper is dinner and breakfast is still breakfast and dont try and be cute and ask if they call breakfast lunch cause they'll say
"no ma'am, breakfast is jus' breakfast"
3.) I am an old ma'am to everyone even boys and girls my age.
4.)Wal-mart is the most wonderful store in the world, (well ok I still hate it but thank heavens they have one in Monticello or else I really dont know what we would do.)
5.)If a young, furniture store owner looks like he has a tumor on the side a his handsome face and you start to feel bad for him, give it a minute, he'll spit and then poof the tumor is gone.
6.) (learned from #5) Tobacco awareness has yet to reach this part of the union.
7.) when children are crying at the store or at the park there is sure to follow an angry mother saying, "pick youself up girl, dust youself off and shut up or I's goin to shut you up ooowww."
8.)clean is a relative term
9.)so is poor, southern poor is different than even beans of Egypt Maine poor.
10.) People of Arkansas at least Monticello are multi-taskers.
Our furniture delivery guy was also a preacher and said about 100 times "God bless ya"
Williams new mean hairdresser is a barber and owns an embroidery shop. One Window of her store says barber and the other says "three sisters embroidery". Silly me I thought it was too stores, no ma'am. I think she might also pull your teeth out in the back too.
(sidenote: I asked her where the other sisters were, she said that she had two sisters but they were never in business with her she just named it that. hmm, makes "southern cents")
10.) lastly somethings just dont make no cents till you move to the south.
We are starting to enjoy our house but Tyler is having anxiety about not sleeping in the same room as William. And we are in desperate need of some furniture.
Unfortunately I have no pictures to post of this colorful southern town because my camera broke.
However, I will share some tidbits I've learned in my schooling of southern ways.
1.) don't impersonate an accent when relaying a story of one southern to another. They dont find it amusing.
2.) Lunch isnt lunch anymore, its supper, and supper is dinner and breakfast is still breakfast and dont try and be cute and ask if they call breakfast lunch cause they'll say
"no ma'am, breakfast is jus' breakfast"
3.) I am an old ma'am to everyone even boys and girls my age.
4.)Wal-mart is the most wonderful store in the world, (well ok I still hate it but thank heavens they have one in Monticello or else I really dont know what we would do.)
5.)If a young, furniture store owner looks like he has a tumor on the side a his handsome face and you start to feel bad for him, give it a minute, he'll spit and then poof the tumor is gone.
6.) (learned from #5) Tobacco awareness has yet to reach this part of the union.
7.) when children are crying at the store or at the park there is sure to follow an angry mother saying, "pick youself up girl, dust youself off and shut up or I's goin to shut you up ooowww."
8.)clean is a relative term
9.)so is poor, southern poor is different than even beans of Egypt Maine poor.
10.) People of Arkansas at least Monticello are multi-taskers.
Our furniture delivery guy was also a preacher and said about 100 times "God bless ya"
Williams new mean hairdresser is a barber and owns an embroidery shop. One Window of her store says barber and the other says "three sisters embroidery". Silly me I thought it was too stores, no ma'am. I think she might also pull your teeth out in the back too.
(sidenote: I asked her where the other sisters were, she said that she had two sisters but they were never in business with her she just named it that. hmm, makes "southern cents")
10.) lastly somethings just dont make no cents till you move to the south.
Bethie, I am so glad you posted that. I already love your observations about the south and can't wait for more amusing stories to come. We are glad you are doing well. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI'm just having a good laugh with Mason. You should write a column! Still can't wait to come see you--William is sooo big!!! Love ya all! Josi
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